Saturday, February 12, 2011


Now we are in the Great Wait, actually just the first part of it. We trust that the chemo has put Nancy into remission, but we don't actually know. We trust that a matching donor will be found, but we don't actually know. We trust that the neupogen injections each day are causing her stem cells to rally...but we don't know that either.

The neupogen treatment takes 7 to 14 days to start to raise her blood counts, and today is day 7. Counts are all still the same, low hematocrit, zero neutrophils, platelets bolstered by transfusion. Today we talked about 'what if the treatments don't work?' That would probably mean that the chemo has not put her in remission, and more chemo is ahead.

It's easy to focus on the "what if's", let our fears run the show. But that isn't being present, and even worse, it's putting our energy into exactly what we don't want.

So today we breathe deeply, let our breath bring us back to ourselves in the moment, and trust. I just open to my faith. The treatments are working, Nancy is in remission, and sometime this week, her stem cells will activate, and explode into production of all her blood components. Her numbers will climb, she will be able to come home soon, and we will find a donor.

We should know if her brother or sister are a match sometime this week also.

Please keep us on your altar, and in your heart. This is the week when rebirth becomes possible for her immune system, her self-nourishment. Help us wait.


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